Sunday, December 16, 2012

heavy hearted

I lay my babies in their beds, I kiss them on the forehead, I tell them I love them and I say a prayer for them. This is how I end my day, everyday.

The kids are down and I do my usual bedtime sweep of the house. Cabbage patch dolls go in the cradle, matchbox cars go in the toy bin, sippy cups go in the sink and whatever else is strewn around finds it's respectable "home."

And then I sit. I think about my day. I catch my breath.

This evening, all is still but my heart beats heavy, as I think about the victims and their families involved in the Sandy Hook shooting in CT. Every single beat of my heart belongs to them. I cannot comprehend the agony of losing a child, although, I imagine it's a "fall on your knees, crawl out of your skin, fall asleep and give up on life" kind of agony.

How could anyone take the life of a sweet child and steal the innocence of their peers? How could anyone single-handedly ruin the lives of so many families? How could someone wake up in the morning and conjure up such a gruesome, heartless attack? HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN? Unfortunately, these questions may never be answered, and, I don't think there could ever be a logical answer that could justify any of this.

It's times like this that we are reminded how quickly life can change. How one second everything could be so normal and in an instant, your whole world could crumble beneath you. I am holding my babies tight and thanking God for allowing me one more day with them. I pray that he gives me many many more and that no one else will ever endure the tragic loss that those parents and loved ones face in CT.

God be with them.

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